I mildly got the idea for this from that cheesy Craigslist post that's passed around the internet about that boyfriend who writes a letter to his dead girlfriend, but I figured it'd be a good way to "talk" to my grandpa. Gods, I miss him.
Dear Grandpa,
So I'm engaged now. I guess you probably already know. I can't say I believe in Heaven, but I do believe you're keeping up with my life, along with my siblings and your own children. Though at this point I think you're probably dissatisfied all around, heh. I got engaged to Haley Claxton almost 3 years ago now. She's the most wonderful thing to happen to me in life and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I mean... that's just one of the things that's happened since you left. We moved out, went through some pets... went through some rough times too, financially, and we are now too since I quit my recent job. I'm planning to go into a harder field though so we'll see how that goes, I'm planning on calling tomorrow. Anyway, what else... tons of awesome movies have come out! I know you were an avid TV watcher but y'know, I don't think you watched movies a lot. I wonder, did you see Tombstone? It was actually made in Tombstone, Arizona. I found that out after I moved here, away from you guys. I know you liked those old-western shows and movies. I would have sat there and watched Tombstone with you for sure. I know being a young'n doesn't really leave a lot of time for 'quality family time' or whatnot. I remember not thinking much of it, but I remember sitting in your guys's bedroom, watching you play F.E.A.R. and Halo on the PC... and Wolfenstein. I remember that one part in Wolfenstein you were stuck on forever with that mutant guy thing that kept killing you and keeping us on edge, haha! I remember watching you play Farcry, too. I don't know if you got to play Farcry 2 (no pun intended), but you wouldn't like Farcry 3, I know that. Way too casual of a game for you, heh.
I remember you picking me up from school in fifth grade and us driving home... I remember those lego race cars shell was promoting and you got me every single one. God I wish I still had them, up on our mantle now. Lord knows I have tons of crap on my mantle currently, haha. But those I would treasure forever. I have nothing from you but memories and I can't even remember your voice anymore. I remember it was deep and gruff. A man's voice, for sure. Neither I or my dad will have that voice. Ugh, I'm tearing up. Every time I cry I feel like it's a disgrace to you because I know you would have toughed everything out and made it through without breaking down. I wish I could fix it, fix myself. How did you do it?
I realize I barely know anything about you. Your background, your life. I know I was taken away from your guys's house on the, I guess, cusp of teenhood at the end of 8th grade, when I was just starting to understand the world, so I never got to ask. I can just imagine the stories you were full of that you were just waiting for us to ask you about, but we never did ask, any of us. And I'm ashamed I didn't. Even now, Haley and I both joke about telling our children and grandchildren stories of stuff, and I just have to wonder what awesome life lessons you had for us stored in that wise brain of yours. And wisecracking brain, haha! I miss that too. And I suppose at the young, ripe age of 22 I still don't understand the world one bit, and I doubt I ever will.
You don't know (well, I dunno if when you die you're able to just float around and read the minds of people but, just in case) how much I think about wanting to go and visit your grave and just... talk. Talk like this. Talk about what's been going on in my life and just sit with you.
I accidentally lost the photos of you that Aunt Missy sent me, and Haley and I have torn up this place looking for them and I can't find them anywhere. It's awful. I really do wish I could find them, but we have looked everywhere. We'll probably find them when we move out one day, but we're not planning to move for quite some time, if ever.
Anyway, I kind of went off track of what's been going on in my life. So yeah, basically after we left from yours and Nana's place, we went to a set of apartments. However my mom found out about the trailers here and we eventually moved into one of those up the street. Coincidentally next to a Quikmart, which is a convienience store. We were down the road a bit but man, we shopped there all the time. It was pretty ridiculous, Gods know how much money we poured into that place. Oh yeah and at the first set of apartments is where I met my current best friend, Jacob. He was the only kid in the apartment complex besides his little sister, and we ended up taking care of her a lot cause his mom was in pretty bad with some bad people. The area wasn't great. But man, we had a lot of fun in that apartment complex for sure, and the apartments were really nice.
So I ended up going to La Cima Middle School for the last 3 months of 8th grade, didn't get a yearbook because I didn't really want one. At the time I was just really angry that we had moved and I hated everyone in the state, particularly Mexicans, whom I know you're not fond of either, heh, beccause they would laugh at me a lot at lunch. I ended up falling in with a group of people who played Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon, while Jacob did other things at lunch. He tried getting into Yu-Gi-Oh! but he was more of the athletic type. I say "was" purposely, here, I'll explain. Anyway, so I got through that and you wouldn't believe it, at the end of the school year we had a dance at the end of it, and Jacob's mom didn't pick us up, and I didn't know my home phone number or my mom's, dad's or Terry's phone number at the time so we had to walk a super long way to get home, in the heat. I remember crossing the river we have in town, I forget the name, but there was a water fountain. I have never had a more refreshing drink than I had that day there. And also when we got home, haha. But we made it, but it was a shitty end of the "school year" for me, if you could even call it that, being torn away from my friends and all.
The next year I started High School at Amphitheater. The school was pretty much laid out like La Cima was, kinda like separate buildings, etc, only moreso. Most of the hallways were outside and what parts were inside we never really got to idle in unless one of the cool guards were in there that day.
Yeah, they started putting guards in schools now. Though we had guards before the Sandy Hook school shooting (some crazed dude with a gun shot and killed a bunch of students and teachers or something and then blew his own head off.), WAY before that actually. I think Sandy Hook occurred after I graduated.
Anyway, so yeah. That pretty much encompassed my entire 4 years of high school, besides the shit (excuse my language, pops.) relationship I got into with a girl from Jersey. And you know the stereotypical "All women from Jersey are trash/sluts/etc" stereotype? Not sure if you knew about that one or even cared for that matter, but I'll just lay it to rest and say it's true, and that's it. If you were here I'd tell you the whole story and get your advice on the matter but otherwise it's definitely long in the past now. But needless to say, it stunted my psychological development through high school and it's only recently been fixed up.
I did successfully graduate high school, yay for me, barely. I got a D- in Math, Algebra 2 to be exact, because I messed up in the previous years before Senior year. However, in my opinion high school wasn't too bad. And that relationship led to me meeting Haley fairly... randomly, I'll just say that. But I don't regret meeting her. Drake ended up graduating too and Joel dropped out. Kristel will be dropping out also, presumably earlier than Joel, most likely at 13 or 14.
I ended up getting a job at a gas station and working there for two years. Earned the respect of three managers and the Market Manager along with the District Manager (I should hope, anyway). I ended up quitting September of 2013 and working at Afni, Inc. which is a call center for cell phone accounts and cell phone troubleshooting. I quit from there in March and have been having Haley work online to keep us afloat.
So here I am, almost 4 months unemployed, still barely scraping by. Hell, if I didn't need the internet for job applications, it'd save us a lot of money.
Anyway, just thought I would get you up to speed. I told Haley I was writing about stuff we did this week so I'ma just cut it off here. I love you Pops, hope you're doing okay wherever you are. If you are somewhere, anywhere.
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