dad

So I decided to video chat my dad as I try to do once a week, he's always happy to oblige since he's living with my grandma right now (his mom), which is a different story entirely than the one I want to put up right now.

So my dad brought up that he regrets not giving us the attention he usually gave me and my younger brother during a small period of time (maybe 3 years, just about) after my youngest, third brother was born. I guess the marriage to my mom was going downhill and he told me that he regrets not spending more time with us during those three years because he was more dedicated to making my mother happy (I don't know what this entails and tbh, I don't really have any business knowing) than spending time with his three boys.

I thought this was really profound for him to ask me something like this because one, he obviously regrets it and he's told me before that he regrets not trying to be around us more, to do something to fight back against my mother to see us more, but he couldn't. He just had visitation rights and ended up having to go live with his mother again after being kicked out by my mother. And two, because it was probably pretty hard for him to ask me this, as well.

However, I told him to not worry about it, because I seriously didn't remember any of that time-frame besides bits here and there (I would have been six at the time) and to not beat himself up over it.

He also told me after my mother had my brother she started bringing home other guys. While my father was home, or at work, it didn't matter. Keep in mind they're both deaf, sign language and all that, so.

At the time, my mother was very handicapped. Rods in the legs+ankles+feet, extremely debilitated back from falling out of a five story window. (I have yet to corroborate this story from any witnesses or anything because she was the only one there apparently, but I take it with a grain of salt + she's always, as far as I remember, been extremely hunched over, can't stand up straight while walking or at any point besides maybe sitting in her rocker. So, musta been some guys desperate for poon (including my dad...) cause I would not call my mother attractive by any stretch of the imagination IMO.)

I was very surprised at this because I did not remember ANY of this. I do remember when my mother brought home guys when I was about 9 or ten and my dad was "around" per se, he visited the house every now and again to hang out with us as mother allowed. One of those guys was my sister's father, who left as soon as possible after banging her. He is now paying child support. Where that money goes, idk, but it's not to supporting my sister. My dad also told me during this conversation, during this time period I called my mom a whore to my brother and he told my mom and I literally got punched in the face, just straight to the jaw/side of my face. I don't remember this but apparently he saw it and didn't do anything. Explains a lot on both sides of the fence.

But back to my point here: My dad fought to spend time with us from what I remember after they got divorced and my mother fought tooth and nail to keep him away. Why, I don't know. My dad was not abusive, a drunk, or anything. If anything my mother was 100% more abusive towards us than he ever was, and if he ever did anything, it was a damn spanking because we were being retarded.


edited post on reddit here because I felt it was too long