So I got $25 worth of a substance that is smoked and holy shit. My first 2 experiences sucked diiiiiick with it because all I got was a massive headrush and that was it. (Blunt wrapped, so tobacco wrap messed with my head and didn't do much for me.)
So then my co-worker at work makes me a bottle bong, and I set it up at home and everything and then at 11PM I "smoked" (right term for bong? idk) it and I took about 6 small to large hits off of it and then I was like "I should go get some water just in case since I know this causes drymouth"and I went and got some water while I was lightheaded and stuff. And I was like "aw man this doesn't feel good", and then as I was walking down the hall back to my room, I basically felt like my limbs were really heavy and hard to move, and I was like "ugh wtf" and sat in my chair again and drank some water.
And then I was like "okay I'm gonna go to sleep, this is terrible" and laid down.
And then the fun began, but only in my mind.
By the way, fun is used with HEAVY SARCASM here because it was basically hell and I thought I was going to die, but I knew I wasn't going to die, but I still felt like it. It maybe only lasted like 30-45 minutes tops, and I knew it wasn't going to last forever, but holy hell.
So basically I was feeling and mentally seeing 2 parts, brain neurons firing and electrical impulses moving throughout my body, and whenever I tried to move it felt like that one slow motion sound effect they used to use in movies and stuff? It felt like that, that's literally the only way I can think of to describe it. But the electrical impulses were actually moving my legs (to a much lesser extent arms) and it was freaking me out. And mentally, I felt like I was losing myself to an entity much greater than I at the time. Or basically my id was taking over and my ego was barely anywhere to be found, under the tidal waves of whatever my id was thinking up at the time. Which was a LOT of weird crap. And the whole time it was basically me imagining another clone of me (ego, id, respectively) doing weird shit and me being like "ugh goddammit stop pls". Like the id me just could create whatever it wanted at the touch of a fingertip to the air or something. I dunno, it was just overall a really bad experience and I did not enjoy a minute of it. I was also able to visualize my brain neurons firing electrical impulses (yellow, head region) and the impulses going out to the rest of my body (blue, rest of body). It was fucking terrible and scary lol.
And eventually I just shut down and got scared and started crying, but couldn't tell if I was crying because time seemed so distorted, and I touched my face and no tears were on it, but I had felt them rolling down earlier, so my brain kicked into gear slightly and was like "the fuck nigga?" and then I felt my other eye and felt wetness (with my extremely heavy arm/hand) and I was like okay I'm not freaking out. So then I just kept intermittently crying and feeling tears on my face to make sure I was still "alive" per se I guess, I don't know.
Eventually I fell asleep and woke up later with no significant trauma to myself or my room, so that was good. But unfortunately it made for a bad night's sleep. It felt like I was up for hours when in reality it was only like less than an hour.
Oh yeah I remember when it first hit me, my fan was running and eventually it crescendo'd into a screeching, spinning piece of metal, just over and over and over again. So I covered my one free ear (the other one being on the pillow on the other side of me, since I was on my side) and the screeching just... echoed forever. So I turned over on my bed and it stopped, thankfully, but I could like hyper-hear the video I had playing and it was KILLING ME so I turned it down to give my ears some relief.
Overall, 10/10 experience, looking for heroin next.
JK 0/10 experience don't do weed kids cause holy fuck that was terrifying.
And I forgot what I actually made this post for was to say I'm probably dropping out of Full Sail because I can't do math.
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Saturday, October 13, 2018
The fuck lol
I've been playing a lot of 7DTD (7 Days to Die) with Jake recently and typically we don't do a second play session after our first one earlier in the day, usually ending anywhere from 2PM to 4 PM, but he asked me if I wanted to play again... here's what happened:
J: Hey are you still wanting to play more tonight?
Me: Yeah we can if you want, I ran around and made a bunch of arrows and got books and stuff
J: kk
J: Let me know
Me: ...Yes we can play lol
J: Are you sure? (Me internally: uh... did I not just imply I got a bunch of shit for us to do in the game?)
Me: You're the dude with prior responsibilities lol not me I ain't doing shit all nigguh lol
Me: You wanna play we playin
J: Haha
Me: I'm in discoballs (discord)
J: You been drinking?
Me: ? I ate a McDonalds chicken sandwich lol
J: K lol I will le you know
Me: No prob
... did I just bamboozle myself or something or what? /facepalm
J: Hey are you still wanting to play more tonight?
Me: Yeah we can if you want, I ran around and made a bunch of arrows and got books and stuff
J: kk
J: Let me know
Me: ...Yes we can play lol
J: Are you sure? (Me internally: uh... did I not just imply I got a bunch of shit for us to do in the game?)
Me: You're the dude with prior responsibilities lol not me I ain't doing shit all nigguh lol
Me: You wanna play we playin
J: Haha
Me: I'm in discoballs (discord)
J: You been drinking?
Me: ? I ate a McDonalds chicken sandwich lol
J: K lol I will le you know
Me: No prob
... did I just bamboozle myself or something or what? /facepalm
Friday, October 12, 2018
Dream
K so.
I had a weird dream last night consisting of two houses in a forest, a group of kids living(?) in the forest + me I guess, and an axe murderer type character.
It started off from what I can remember of the dream with this group of kids discovering a tent-house thing in the forest (essentially a house with an awning for a tent I guess ish except the outer walls were "tent" and the inner walls were... walls.) and the kids go inside cause they heard rumors of some crazy guy living in the forest. So the kids went in.
Kinda blurred out so I'll get to the next part. The next part it's apparently "two days later" after some other stuff happens (1 kid getting caught and killed), and the kids investigate the house-tent again. And then some stuff happens (i.e. I leave for a bit so idk) and then I come back and the kids are like... making themselves at home. Cooking shit, sitting on furniture, etc. I'm just like "WHAT THE FUUUUUCK" and then I hear a SLAM from outside, and look outside the tent, and maybe 500-600 feet away is the crazy guy with mud slathered all over his front (or what looks to be mud, I never find out) walking toward the house"tent". And he was coming out of a white house that for some reason we didn't notice before (haha dreams amiright). So I'm like "THE GUY IS COMING!" and they all start freaking out and running around. And I try to direct them out the front door, but they're like fucking lemmings and I don't know how to control them. So finally I'm just like "f this" and try to find a back door to the house. I go through the attached "kitchen" and there's a kid standing there staring at what looked like butter in a pan and the kid going "PLEASE COOK PLEASE COOK PLEASE COOK" and I was like "whatever lol". I find a door labeled with a very nice black, thick plastic sign that just says in white "doctor's office" lettering, "KEEP OUT" with a symbol next to it that looks like a yellow triangle with another symbol in it. It wasn't the "danger electrical" symbol, so I'm not sure what it was since I can't remember it clearly, but I just started throwing my body at the door to try and open it. It was a flimsy door and the door buckled slightly, it seemed to be thinner wood. I backed up and slammed into it again and the door gave off a loud "CRACK!" but didn't break down.
Unfortunately I woke up with the CRACK noise so that's the end of that. I wonder what my brain was processing about my week with that dream.
I had a weird dream last night consisting of two houses in a forest, a group of kids living(?) in the forest + me I guess, and an axe murderer type character.
It started off from what I can remember of the dream with this group of kids discovering a tent-house thing in the forest (essentially a house with an awning for a tent I guess ish except the outer walls were "tent" and the inner walls were... walls.) and the kids go inside cause they heard rumors of some crazy guy living in the forest. So the kids went in.
Kinda blurred out so I'll get to the next part. The next part it's apparently "two days later" after some other stuff happens (1 kid getting caught and killed), and the kids investigate the house-tent again. And then some stuff happens (i.e. I leave for a bit so idk) and then I come back and the kids are like... making themselves at home. Cooking shit, sitting on furniture, etc. I'm just like "WHAT THE FUUUUUCK" and then I hear a SLAM from outside, and look outside the tent, and maybe 500-600 feet away is the crazy guy with mud slathered all over his front (or what looks to be mud, I never find out) walking toward the house"tent". And he was coming out of a white house that for some reason we didn't notice before (haha dreams amiright). So I'm like "THE GUY IS COMING!" and they all start freaking out and running around. And I try to direct them out the front door, but they're like fucking lemmings and I don't know how to control them. So finally I'm just like "f this" and try to find a back door to the house. I go through the attached "kitchen" and there's a kid standing there staring at what looked like butter in a pan and the kid going "PLEASE COOK PLEASE COOK PLEASE COOK" and I was like "whatever lol". I find a door labeled with a very nice black, thick plastic sign that just says in white "doctor's office" lettering, "KEEP OUT" with a symbol next to it that looks like a yellow triangle with another symbol in it. It wasn't the "danger electrical" symbol, so I'm not sure what it was since I can't remember it clearly, but I just started throwing my body at the door to try and open it. It was a flimsy door and the door buckled slightly, it seemed to be thinner wood. I backed up and slammed into it again and the door gave off a loud "CRACK!" but didn't break down.
Unfortunately I woke up with the CRACK noise so that's the end of that. I wonder what my brain was processing about my week with that dream.
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
WP
After a particularly long and stressful day at work, you come home to an empty house, as it's been since your pet died. However, today, a golden, pet-shaped entity floats up to you.
Monday, October 8, 2018
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Fucking A, Tom Cruise
Due to some fucker imitating tom cruise and baiting my mom with that persona I have to use 8 hours of my sick time on thursday to fucking watch for this fucker that's going to come to our house.
And the last 2 days i've been woken up at fucking 3 AM because my mom is hungry. HUH MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T WIRE "TOM CRUISE" MONEY AND FUCKING ACTUALLY BOUGHT SOME FOOD FOR YOURSELF YOU WOULDN'T BE FUCKING HUNGRY HUH
I wish she would just fucking die already. God if I was a burden like this to anyone I'd have already offed myself. I don't want people taking care of me, shit.
And the last 2 days i've been woken up at fucking 3 AM because my mom is hungry. HUH MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T WIRE "TOM CRUISE" MONEY AND FUCKING ACTUALLY BOUGHT SOME FOOD FOR YOURSELF YOU WOULDN'T BE FUCKING HUNGRY HUH
I wish she would just fucking die already. God if I was a burden like this to anyone I'd have already offed myself. I don't want people taking care of me, shit.
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
WoW
Reddit link
Probably Orgrimmar for myself.
it was where all my first guild's drama went down, where I hung out with my best friend and talked in Ventrilo, where my best friend and I queued for BGs at the battlemasters, where my best friend and I sold a piece of mystery meat for 1g and thinking we were rich as fuck on the AH... Though either that or back to the starting zone in Durotar, but idk since it's "changed", and Orgrimmar is changed too. But Orgrimmar sticks out as the spot where I had the good, the bad, and the ugly times in my life.
I'm trying my hardest to think of another spot and the only spot that keeps resurfacing is Orgrimmar.
For the Horde. Lok'tar Ogar, friends.
Fucking hell, I live a sad life.
Probably Orgrimmar for myself.
it was where all my first guild's drama went down, where I hung out with my best friend and talked in Ventrilo, where my best friend and I queued for BGs at the battlemasters, where my best friend and I sold a piece of mystery meat for 1g and thinking we were rich as fuck on the AH... Though either that or back to the starting zone in Durotar, but idk since it's "changed", and Orgrimmar is changed too. But Orgrimmar sticks out as the spot where I had the good, the bad, and the ugly times in my life.
I'm trying my hardest to think of another spot and the only spot that keeps resurfacing is Orgrimmar.
For the Horde. Lok'tar Ogar, friends.
Fucking hell, I live a sad life.
Toast
I feel like I'm just burnt out on games. There are a bunch coming up I'm going to buy but they're all coming out around the holiday season/2019 (Cyberpunk 2077, the new Hey Pikachu or whatever game for switch, Days Gone that I have paid off at gamestop at the moment, probably some more I'm forgetting. I just bought Sheltered on Steam cause they were having a decent sale on it, cause it was only 4 bucks but I played it and can't get anywhere. I couldn't get materials to keep my family up and I killed my whole family in the game 3 times cause it wouldn't rain and I couldn't find water/food and the last one I forgot about the oxygen filter and wasn't paying attention and one person suffocated so I was like 'eff it' and refunded the game.
I'm burnt out on WoW since I can't get into groups as an Arms warrior or an Elemental shaman and I'm done with guilds because they just leech off my materials and they're so 'cliqueish' now it's ridiculous. With my last guild I really tried to integrate myself with them but when I ask to do mythic+ keystones and no one responds and 5 minutes later one of the "clique" asks and everyone's hopping on their fucking dick... sigh. I donated so much stuff to that guild too that I could have made money on... back to being guildless.
You know, I hate to tie things back to my previous relationship, but there's definitely ties to everything in my life back to my last relationship.
Nah, this is going to be a generalization of women everywhere, but especially those who play video games for attention. You idiot men who think with your dicks are pushing away good friends to let that "gamer gurl" play with your group who is pulling sub par DPS and going "teehee I died" in game mechanics. It's fucking ridiculous. And even still in general there's guys in guilds who are excluded to bring "the GL's GF" or whatever when she just goes AFK for 10 minutes in the middle of a raid or god forbid a fucking encounter. And you KNOW that fucker plays a healer.
To you women who play other video games than WoW and multiplayer games for attention, and "friendship", I salute you. You are the true heroes that women who "play video games" need to follow. But they won't, because they enjoy men fawning over them. It's funny because I thought about this the other day and I don't think I saw my last ex play ANYTHING but WoW. She wouldn't play shit I got for the gamecube I got, she wouldn't play anything else but Guild Wars 2 and WoW. And I will give her credit, she was an excellent PvP healer, but I only think the "attention" she got from her mostly male guild spurred her on for that.
ugh, god, I can't talk about that shit, it's making my blood boil.
In other news I posted a new review on my website, https://setari666.wixsite.com/bronzegaming for Rune Classic. I started playing Rune Classic (NOT RUNESCAPE) and it's an extremely good single player RPG game that was released in 2001. I never really thought I'd be playing something nowadays that was released in 2001, but here I am. I play an hour of it or so a night, and for how simple it is, it's super fun. There are some places I need to consult a walkthrough, but they're far and few in-between. I did find out too that the "spiritual successor" to the game, Rune Ragnarok is releasing this year as well, and I might preorder it next paycheck as well, but it kind of puts me off that they're going to use "early access" to release it on Steam, so I dunno. Maybe I'll just wait for it to release and see how that goes.
I dunno, maybe I should try to get sucked into Morrowind or something again. BFA (The latest WoW expansion) is sucking giant donkey fucking cocks and anything else in my Steam library is killing me. I have a successful Cities:Skylines city going right now but that's about it for "active gaming" besides running LFR in WoW every Tuesday. Ugh. I know that this is a symptom of basically the internet and having everything at my fingertips, yadda, yadda.
Jake hasn't been on in quite a while either even on my days off. No texts, nothing. Pretty sure his girlfriend has beaten him into the ground.
I have been playing D&D games with TheLastMage's crew on Fridays though, we're running through a Cyberpunk 2077 tabletop D&D playthrough. If you'd like to read transcripts of our most recent games:
Part 1: https://pastebin.com/P1V3qRCy
Part 2: https://pastebin.com/gbnX3D2j
I basically told both stories to co-workers today but... goddamn I thought I had no imagination, but these fuckers didn't even laugh, just chuckled a bit. Guess it's not really for them. Shared those with my dad too but no dice, really.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dndstories/
Welp guess I'm posting these there now.
I'm burnt out on WoW since I can't get into groups as an Arms warrior or an Elemental shaman and I'm done with guilds because they just leech off my materials and they're so 'cliqueish' now it's ridiculous. With my last guild I really tried to integrate myself with them but when I ask to do mythic+ keystones and no one responds and 5 minutes later one of the "clique" asks and everyone's hopping on their fucking dick... sigh. I donated so much stuff to that guild too that I could have made money on... back to being guildless.
You know, I hate to tie things back to my previous relationship, but there's definitely ties to everything in my life back to my last relationship.
Nah, this is going to be a generalization of women everywhere, but especially those who play video games for attention. You idiot men who think with your dicks are pushing away good friends to let that "gamer gurl" play with your group who is pulling sub par DPS and going "teehee I died" in game mechanics. It's fucking ridiculous. And even still in general there's guys in guilds who are excluded to bring "the GL's GF" or whatever when she just goes AFK for 10 minutes in the middle of a raid or god forbid a fucking encounter. And you KNOW that fucker plays a healer.
To you women who play other video games than WoW and multiplayer games for attention, and "friendship", I salute you. You are the true heroes that women who "play video games" need to follow. But they won't, because they enjoy men fawning over them. It's funny because I thought about this the other day and I don't think I saw my last ex play ANYTHING but WoW. She wouldn't play shit I got for the gamecube I got, she wouldn't play anything else but Guild Wars 2 and WoW. And I will give her credit, she was an excellent PvP healer, but I only think the "attention" she got from her mostly male guild spurred her on for that.
ugh, god, I can't talk about that shit, it's making my blood boil.
In other news I posted a new review on my website, https://setari666.wixsite.com/bronzegaming for Rune Classic. I started playing Rune Classic (NOT RUNESCAPE) and it's an extremely good single player RPG game that was released in 2001. I never really thought I'd be playing something nowadays that was released in 2001, but here I am. I play an hour of it or so a night, and for how simple it is, it's super fun. There are some places I need to consult a walkthrough, but they're far and few in-between. I did find out too that the "spiritual successor" to the game, Rune Ragnarok is releasing this year as well, and I might preorder it next paycheck as well, but it kind of puts me off that they're going to use "early access" to release it on Steam, so I dunno. Maybe I'll just wait for it to release and see how that goes.
I dunno, maybe I should try to get sucked into Morrowind or something again. BFA (The latest WoW expansion) is sucking giant donkey fucking cocks and anything else in my Steam library is killing me. I have a successful Cities:Skylines city going right now but that's about it for "active gaming" besides running LFR in WoW every Tuesday. Ugh. I know that this is a symptom of basically the internet and having everything at my fingertips, yadda, yadda.
Jake hasn't been on in quite a while either even on my days off. No texts, nothing. Pretty sure his girlfriend has beaten him into the ground.
I have been playing D&D games with TheLastMage's crew on Fridays though, we're running through a Cyberpunk 2077 tabletop D&D playthrough. If you'd like to read transcripts of our most recent games:
Part 1: https://pastebin.com/P1V3qRCy
Part 2: https://pastebin.com/gbnX3D2j
I basically told both stories to co-workers today but... goddamn I thought I had no imagination, but these fuckers didn't even laugh, just chuckled a bit. Guess it's not really for them. Shared those with my dad too but no dice, really.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dndstories/
Welp guess I'm posting these there now.
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