The hell did I do?

So I scheduled a Microsoft Office 70-346 exam for tomorrow (from last week, been studying all week) and I could have SWORN that I marked a spot for it to take it which was the East Pima Campus in the Tucson area. But... I found out today I didn't. But I know I did. I KNOW I did because I immediately went to look it up, because it was way in the middle of the city and I wanted to know how long it would take to get there from my work/my house and it was 30 minutes. The entry on the Pearson VUE website said "E Pima County Community College District" and it had a completely different address.

/r/glitchinthematrix I guess for once. Whatever, that saves me cash to pay my lyft driver lololol. I woulda had to pay 150 bucks for a round trip to and from the E campus but f that, she'll get 120 now for the trip to and from + my usual rides to work lolol

Good fucking god

Fucking hell man jacob is trying to reach out to terry to find out if im mad at him or not

yeah im fucking mad you idiot.

You decline every request to play video games, every movie, every hangout, every fucking thing every fuckin weekend because "hurr the kids are over" or "hurr my gf is home i cant" fuck you dude you're fucking 27, why the fuck do you wanna be strapped down with a fucking family and kids. To think I looked up to this guy as a role model and then "huuuuudurrhurrr gotta git dat puss" dude fuck off. Your gf is a fucking potato now. she WAS hot af but goddamn what the fuck

I literally posted in /r/ rant about this a few days ago and like etc. That bitch wasn't there with you when your mom told you she hated you and wishes she never had you. She wasn't there when you were going through that shot with Mariah in high school. She wasn't there for those days we spent cleaning Jim's yard for video games. She didn't come over to hang out every summer and LAN party it up. She just waltzes in and expects you to cater to her and you do and that's your choice but fuck me if it doesn't leave everyone else on the sidelines. She wasn't there helping you fix Jim's house. She wasn't there for literally 99 percent of shut that happened to you, but I fucking was. But you just toss everything that we've been through aside for a lady and her kids. I get your older lady fetish but fucking seriously. I know with Carol I was literally the same but shit s still came over and chilled with you and gamed and shit. I didn't ever say no even when I had to walk my happy was to your house at fucking 9 pm at night. And when I was with Haley I dragged her ass along too!

So no I'm done. Have fun with your kids and your wife at 27 man, I'm gonna do shit I wanna do and then die knowing I did shit I wanted to do my whole life.

And now I'm drunk so excuse myt drinkin tirade:

and speaking of rbing drink who was there to attempt at leas to take care of your ass when you barfed all ofver the floor and had to ask your sister for a twoel wve n though she didnt give a shit that you trhew up over aeveyrthing!? ME.

And who were there for everything else that fukcing happenedd in your life ME. Noty her. Not her kids. ME. show me sufkving respect you diot;. 15 + years down the ofddamnt drain because I have to cut you out because ytoy keep declinging eveyerthting I offer to do with you ytotuy peice of shit.

Fuck you.

goddamn i doung slike a woman but seriously? come on it had to stop[ fuck ing around atsome pint fuck you.

Weird volcano dream

So I was in a trailer, but not this one, but I was on my way home from somewhere, walking, and all of a sudden the ground starts going nuts. Like shaking so badly I almost couldn't keep my balance (I try not to fall down since I'm so tall and it's a chore for me to get back up) then I just hear the the biggest KABOOM fucking noise anyone's ever heard in their entire life. Like I literally thought a nuke got dropped on my state. And then there was just.... silence. Just silence from everyone around me. Cars, etc. And in my FoV in front of me there was a HUGE like... lump that wasn't there before. Like the ground WAY OFF in the distance had risen and exploded.

Now I generally know a little bit about super-volcanos, but the Yellowstone hotspot is the only one I know of. But this was like a giant, massive piece of the continent just had so much pressure built up under it and just immediately rose to explode in the span of a minute.

And then the debris. The debris from all of the homes that were instantaneously exploded and ripped apart from the occurrence of the volcano was shot hundreds of thousands of miles, so much so that as I looked on in horror, a fucking ceiling fan came RIPPING down the line of cars I was between on a side road. I tried to move out of the way of it, but it fucking changed direction. And then I moved over to the right car beside me again and literally had to dive behind it. I don't know how to dive so I just landed on my stomach and heaved for a little while behind the car, while coming to terms with how close to death I just came. All I wanted to do was get home, even though I wanted to curl up and just start crying right there, but then all of a sudden I was just... numb. I didn't feel anything, and I just wanted to get home.

So I walked the rest of the distance home, which was blurry basically from what I remember but I just remember I kept looking at the gigantic plumes of smoke that were rising from the earth from that giant lump in the earth, and I kept feeling a twinge of panic. But I just wanted to go home and play video games and live out the rest of my days at home playing before I died or whatever.

So I get home and my stepdad is there and he has the tv tuned to a news channel. Apparently the news people or whatever names that shit named the new giant mountain "Mount Nikki" and were keeping people updated about the lava flow as well as getting footage of the surrounding devastation, and the fact that the explosion sound wave was still traveling. I was like "Holy jesus what the fuck" to myself and went up to my room.

Now I said I lived in a trailer, but for some reason there were stairs to my room so... double...stacked trailer I guess? I didn't "look" at the outside in the dream but yeah, whatever.

So I went up and also apparently the trailer was on a hill, which I kind of breathed a sigh of relief for, because if the lava flow got to us, it would just go around for the time being, hopefully. But I saw all these... animals. Like weird-colored gazelles and lions and elephants and shit but they had weird patterns on them all over their body. Not like drawings but things you would expect to be a normal pattern on a made up animal but on these things. Little animals too. They were all going around our hill and sometimes over it, passing our trailer.

And then our trailer started moving off of the hill. I went and laid down on my bed. And then the trailer moved back to where it was. I don't know.

And then the trailer began rumbling and moving like it was a secret RV or something and I had no idea and we went to a Quik-Mart here and got snacks and then went back and that's the end of the dream.

I don't normally dream about natural events, I don't think I have, EVER, in my entire life, had something so realistic and me not noticing I was in a dream like that. I'm surprised the explosion from the volcano in the dream didn't wake me up too, or shake me out of it. It kind of weirds me out because I feel like I just witnessed something that could very well be soon happening IRL or something, but I doubt it.

If it did I'd wanna... I dunno what I'd wanna do actually. I wanna say go home and chill and play video games but considering Yellowstone is in Idaho, Montana and Wyoming, I'd be hard pressed to see a volcano rising from the earth with how far away I am from that, so it had to be a different volcano in the dream. Meh, not gonna worry too much about it, I woke up with a headache from that shit so it can fuck off.

Work time soon hopefully... lyft driver is late.

small brown girl + ex. the fuck this was a weird dream

So from what I remember (unfortunately) my last ex was at my house where I was living. It was a way different place to what I'm in right now and she was visiting again. In the dream we were in a relationship.

Edit: 7:42 PM hooo boy today was a fucking doozy. I'll try to rewrite the dream as best I remember it.

So I just remember that my now ex and I were together in the dream so I'll just refer to her as "the gf" or whatever just for simplicity's sake. So basically we were in a normal, well proportioned house and just chilling and it blurs from there, all I know is she went back home for a visit. And then the dream comes back and I enter the bedroom, and there's just... like a small indian kid in the room. I was like, "okay, I must be fucking freaking out" and left the room and came back, and there was still just a small indian girl in the room. I was like,

"Where the fuck is my girlfriend?"

And they were like:

"wot?"

And then I got super pissed off... and then I yelled at the kid and the kid like... did some weird move to get out of the room and ran out of my house.

And then I was alone.

And then I woke up. There was a lot more detail than that this morning of course but fuck me if I can look at a computer screen right after I wake up anymore.

Time

Theaters aren't as cold or loud as they used to be. Summer doesn't exist, it just starts getting hot and then stops getting hot. The bite in the air during Christmas isn't there and the smell of the trees has faded. Snowglobes have lost their charm and don't encapsulate entire universes as they once did. When it does snow you're upset that you have to shovel and have a longer, colder commute to work where you'll sit in your cubicle remembering the joy of a snow day as a kid. It's silly to even call them friendships today because you don't share your deepest darkest secrets anymore. The infinite possibilities are now surrounded by boundaries and regrets. Music has lost a layer and texture you never knew was there. Movies that made your eyes wide and filled you with beautiful dreams are now less believable. Even silence isn't so quiet yet somehow it's even more isolating. And the tick tock of the clock beats just noticeably faster.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/anyx91/what_part_of_being_an_adult_were_you_absolutely/

I'm done with being a "best friend". I am now friendless.

I am so done with this shit. Time and time again I have invited my best friend to hang out, play video games, go to the movies, and he never can because of his fucking stupid girlfriend with crotch fucking potatoes from different men. Like fucking seriously dude you're fucking still in your 20s and you shack up with a bitch who is literally leeching off of you and ten years your fucking senior to pay for her house and her fucking kids that aren't yours? You disregard the friend that's been there for you through thick and fucking thin for some fucking worthless pussy?

She's fucking ugly now and looks like a fucking potato. I'm not a prize myself but the dude keeps in shape whereas I guess all she can be bothered to do is fucking drink beer after getting home from work and having you do everything huh? Jesus christ. As soon as he gets a job he's unable to enjoy the fruits of his labor and instead just gets his life sucked down the fucking drain. He literally has to ask to buy shit for himself for his hobby of video gaming, which isn't much of a hobby anymore, apparently.

I bought Kingdom Hearts 3 today and I texted him saying "WHAT WE WAITED SO MANY YEARS FOR" with an image of my PS4 screen with the game and he was like "oh yeah I already bought it and put 20 hours into it."

Nigga what? NIGGA WHAT?! We've both been on the ball with these fucking games and you don't even tell me you bought it so I can play it along with you?

This might just be fucking really petty but fuck it. I'm done. I'm done listening to the whining about the relationship and the bitching. I'm done listening to "she's verbally harassing me all day every day". DUDE you make SO MUCH BANK.

AND HE BOUGHT HER A NEW TRUCK WHEN HE NEEDED THAT TRUCK INSTEAD AS A SALES REP! Just... what the fuck dude. There's a point that being a martyr for a girl stops and buying fucking shit that you need for your job versus her "wants" is fucking it. There are so many red flags I've heard over the last 3 years now and he just stays with it.

I'm done. I'm done with this friendship. You have other "friends" in your fancy pantsy neighborhood you live in now, and I will officially have no friends. I'm done with all of this fucking shit.

You weren't even there for me while I was being mentally tortured and living with my ex for that whole year, you want me to fucking be there for YOU? HAH! I tried. I really did but you are just a fucking glutton for "self-sacrifice for your woman" I guess.

You fucking jumped into the vat of cow shit, you're going to get yourself out.

https://www.reddit.com/r/rant/comments/amz7tq/im_done_being_a_best_friend/?

My brain did a oopsie

So I have my sister's dog in my room cause he likes chilling with me and he's also a chihuahua. I was petting him from my chair and rubbing his belly and stuff and I literally said "Good boy Tan-"

Tank and Bruce were my pet chihuahuas once upon a time, but I gave them to a shelter because I couldn't take care of them after my ex and I broke up. I'm more of a cat dude tbh just because we didn't have the space to put them outside to poop and stuff. Originally we used a pad indoors and it worked fine but... well, I'm not going to get into it but yeah.

I have no idea why I did that. This dog is the complete opposite color of Tank (he was black, this dog is golden/light haired). And his name is Prince. Completely different name.

I do have a lot of regret for giving them to the shelter. I still think about going sometimes and bringing them back with me if they're still there... it's been 3 years though, so I don't think they are. I can barely take care of myself, I can't take care of a dog.

Wherever they are I hope they found a good home. There's nothing more I would like than to have them with me but we still have too many animals here and I just can't do it.

Man to be honest I haven't thought about them in quite a while. Work's been taking off and my nights at home are just reddit and youtube and hulu. Now I'm over here crying like an idiot over dogs I shouldn't have and can't have.

Maybe I'll just go play some anthem by myself... I did get to play Anthem a lot with TLM and Storm today, on PC and PS4. The PS4 experience is actually pretty good if I do say so myself, a lot less crashing than on PC unfortunately. I hope they iron out the crash bugs before the 22nd of this month when the game is released. I accidentally made a ronald mcdonald lookin' suit in the game and it was fucking hilarious the comments from mage and storm. I was trying to do an iron man look but I reversed the colors, so... lol.

God I hope those dogs are okay. I wish I could be more responsible but idk, I'm just super fucking lazy I guess. Man. God I almost want to go look tomorrow. But I fucking can't. I just cannot.

I can't.