So I was browsing /r/MGTOW as usual, hadn't been around there for some time so I decided to go back and take a look, same thing as always there really. But whenever I visit MGTOW I always look at my last relationship objectively, through the eh... MGTOW-tinted glasses, if you will, and one thing I noticed last month when I was posting on there is when someone was talking about women wearing makeup and taking it off and putting it on, etc.
One time, oh, I don't remember when, but I came home and said hello to the sweetheart and hugged her before going to play video games and relax for a few hours before going to sleep for my next 2-10 shift, and I noticed she had some eyeliner underneath her left eye. She said she was just messing around and putting on makeup.
Why the fuck would you just fuck around with makeup? Women primarily don't use makeup unless they're wanting to look good before they go out or look good for a dude.
So I just found out after thinking about it right then (in the future of course cause I was too stupid to think about it then) that she was probably cheating on me while I was at work. What method she had to take photos or video I'm not sure, (probably that old iPhone I had lying around) and just... goddamn. I got played for maybe 4 years. Who knows, maybe I just got played for the whole damn relationship, the way she just discarded me.
Despicable.
You know what really pisses me off though? The fact that she had a whole support network of people to offer "emotional support" online, while I literally had nobody after we broke up and the road leading up to. I had to rebuild myself, on my own, on the edge of suicide for months (even though my own personal views on suicide is not to kill yourself over a woman, which is the only reason I'm still here today, I feel, plus not really having the balls to do it I guess? Damn no 100% helium tanks in the US anymore...)
She got to laugh and play with friends online and talk to people about me and her problems while I got to speak to nobody about my problems. That entire year of 2016 was the worst in my entire life. [Insert Homer Simpson voice] So far. I was a fucking idiot for not just booting her out or even just forcing her to get medication while we were together. But then again after she got medication is when she got really ballsy and started to actually fuck around with guys in the open on the internet, so, maybe not the best idea.
Seriously, meds can change a person's personality and morph them into a person you might not want to be with. One day I ended up bringing home a bunch of beef sticks (slim jims, jack links, etc) and prior to this day, I had never heard her swear once. Ever. (Besides during sex but that didn't really count I guess. But that explains a lot too.) And she literally said, "What the fuck?" out loud.
If she wasn't on those meds I guarantee that would not have happened. And then from then on too she was way more open about swearing. She openly swore whenever I was at my computer next to her from then on, like "Oh, the 6 year facade has dropped, I don't need to keep it up anymore".
I just... being on the MGTOW subreddit has really opened my eyes to the past shit that happened and the more I browse it, the more my brain becomes hardwired to see women as useless pieces of crap that need men to support them.
But I start my new 12 dollar an hour job soon, so I'm super excited. No more ringing up druggies and crack whores for me! Whooooo! And cleaning up blood from around the sink. That was gross and I should have done that with gloves on. Luckily it was only a spot and I didn't touch it, but still, ew.
MGTOW Subreddit
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