Dream

Ugh, just going to get this down so I can move on with my stupid day. Damn it's already 12 and I just woke up... I woke up at nine earlier, I just wanted to sleep until 10. welp.

But I had this dream where haley and I visited this like... well I'll start from the beginning.

So from what I remember she and I were in some house living there and we left to go somewhere, I didn't know exactly where so I just went with her. We walked down the street (everything was extremely foreign to me, like the surroundings I did not recognize from where I live) like kissing and hugging and stuff, and we walked for a while. Then we came across this... I dunno, small chinese food shop? They were suuuuper tiny. And they only had like 3 items: a banana split, fried rice and some egg thing I didn't pay too much attention to so I don't know what it was.

So she told me she wanted a banana split. I was like, okay. And the prices were listed underneath the items. It fucking cost $54.90 for a banana split. I was like... maybe that's a mistranslation or something.

I don't remember what happened there because it skips over to where I was going to start from, which was we came to this huuuuuge store. And it was some weird thing where like, y'know how some places have like laser tag and stuff and it's interactive and junk? Well this place was like a gigantic toys r us only like for people who liked RPG stuff and they had some fantasy interactive RPG thing as well. So we walked in and we're guided to some office for the fantasy interactive RPG.

Also for some reason haley and I have 2 way radios on our ears, probably got them for the fantasy adventure thing? I actually don't remember.

But as soon as we leave the office she runs off and I struggle to keep up. I mean this place is like CITY BLOCK huge. And I find her talking to some like, halfling people or something and tiny kid elves and I stood there waiting for her, and then I blacked out.

Not like I don't remember what happened, it's fuzzy, etc. Like someone smashed me on the head and I blacked out.

I came to on the floor and there was nobody around me at all and I was like what the fuck. I got up and the store felt like it was deserted. There was no sound coming from the two way earpiece and I just frieakin bellowed, "HALEY?" into the open air. And then I heard over the two way her saying I was awake, a slight moan, and a belt buckling up.

And then I just stood there and rushed off to the office to kill both of them. Literally stab them both with a knife. Dude knew I was her eh "boyfriend" in the dream and her... well.

But I woke up after my shoes hit the first step on the floor.

Dude I've had this fucking shit in two different ways now and I can interpret them flawlessly every fucking time no matter what happens. The length of time between seems to be getting longer and longer and I don't know why I care about a girl that does not care about me anymore. That had the gall to basically get fucked while I was in the house while she knew I wanted to get back together with her.

/shrug. I'm not gonna stew on it or anything but it helps me if I write it down somewhere online so I don't think about it more during the day and have it interrupt my workday.

I'm also going to buy a drawing tablet with my next paycheck since I lent my sister my other drawing thing and I'll be able to afford one with one paycheck, so. It'll be nice. The first thing I'm drawing is an armored, shielded heart.

It's funny because that's how I see my own heart is armored. To keep all my emotions hidden away and to prevent anyone from wheedling into my life ever again. Hell even with the chick at work that's now gone (moved "up" to better pay in the company cause some other guy wants to bone her/be in a relationship with her, idk) all I wanted to do was bang her and leave her. But that would make work awkward, plus she's not really my type, I just wanted a bang n gone, so. But what's funny is the longer I stay single and just fap to porn, the more I keep wanting that companionship from a person. Like I've literally blam'd to more physically intimate scenes than actually listening to moaning and stuff. Well, it's still typically 99% Futanari(3DCGI) and 1% other stuff but still, the symbolism is there. We have some fucking awesome dogs, but I can't have a conversation with a dog. But even if I moved out I'd still get ONE dog over attempting to get a person to date/talk with/whatever.

Also watching anime/seeing anime girl pictures doesn't help at all with that situation, but I've got a handle on it.

Good lord I cannot wait until sex robots come out. Then I can just talk with a robot who will do all of my commands and not be a bitch about it but will also be an intelligent person/AI. When I think about it like that it seems kind of dickish but I mean, when you've lived with a person who literally did almost nothing for two years around the house and it was like pulling hair to get them to do anything while you worked, you'd start thinking like that too. You say you wouldn't, but I know you see my point.

One thing is for sure, I will die a cold, lonely shell of a man but I will have someone shoot me before I even CONSIDER picking up another girlfriend for companionship that's going to eat my money and time.

Alright I gotta go do work shit and change pants from my shorts on and crap.