Tuesday, November 23, 2021

burning a hole in my brain

 So most everyone has something that their parents did to them that affects them adversely for the rest of their lives in some way, even if they don't realize it later.

I was sitting at work (wfh) and I was just thinking about this fact, and one moment in time happened when I was living with my grandmother at her house during the ages of 10 to 13. (so like, early 2000s?) I had gotten an email from my mom that redirected to a website showing a page with numbers like those colorblind tests with the numbers made out of bubbles and such.

So I start doing the "test" and my dad is behind me watching me, and I answer one of the questions with a number, and then the computer speakers fucking explode with a scream and a scary face appears on the screen. 

At the time I obviously didn't know I was autistic, so the extremely loud noise scared me more than the stupid face.

And that was the beginning of why I never trusted my mom again. 

Oh, and my hate of screamers/loud "horror" noises, which is why I wrote this lol.

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