So today was alright. Got a lotta stuff done at work.
Then I'm just sitting here zoning out tryina find something to watch on YouTube cause I can't ever find anything frieakin lengthy to run in the background while I play stuff (I tried podcasts but I am unable to find any good funny ones) and just...
The suicidal thoughts just creep up on me. Just the sweet caress of death just runs its hand over my brain like a beautiful woman running her hand over a man's back. "You'll never go anywhere in life", "You suck", "You're worthless", "You can't do anything right", "You'll never find someone to be with" (I hardly care about that one, I'm just writing them as they surface basically) "You're trash" "Scum" "Everyone hates you and doesn't want to be around you", "You'll never make enough money", "You're always going to be stressed as fuck all the time", "Everyone thinks you're worthless and pitiful", "You're fucking retarded, you couldn't understand basic coding but everyone else around you can", "You didn't even finish a 2 year college course, you SUCK", "You'll never make anything out of your damn life, just end it you sack of shit waste of oxygen on this damn planet", aaaaaaaand it stopped. K.
I wave em away mentally like a swarm of mosquitoes but they just flutter back in eventually. Can I get some fuckin' OFF for my brain pls? I mean yeah, one lady's email today fucked up cause she fuckin was tryina export mail from Outlook 2010 to Outlook 2019 and that shit is always risky, and she lost her inbox of emails but OH WELL BITCH.
ugh. I was playing a team randomizer in pokemon crystal but I just fastforward the gameplay and it's not fun if I'm able to do that. I'm out of stuff to play, again. Maybe I should just resub to WoW... 😫
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