Welp, I'm in Illinois now. I told my dad what was happening with my eviction, he told my brother, my brother spent a fuckton of money on me to fly me out to live with my mom's ex-friend who he was living with (fake "aunt" person sorta kinda). I appreciate the gesture, but this whole shabang made me realize something:
I'm a fucking sociopath.
Through all of this I've felt nothing. I mean, yeah when I got the eviction letter I was like "the fuk am i gon do" but I mean I would have just walked out of there if it came down to it. Would I like it? No, and I probably would have offed myself at the first opportunity since I do NOT want to be begging on the streets for change and shit. But saying bye to Jake... I felt nothing. Saying bye to everyone at work, I felt nothing. I will however miss the workplace for the... lax environment. Saying bye to Zander, I felt nothing. I was nervous as all hell for myself on the plane.
I guess when I texted Jake that I was moving out of state he actually started crying a bit, and he told me his gf asked him like, "are you crying?" and he said "yeah rob's my best friend and he's leaving".
I felt nothing. 0 feelings. He's my best friend and I just felt absolutely nothing. I mean I've been this way a long time, and maybe it's because he's... pretty much been out of my life for a while now. Sure we may have said a few words in passing to each other on Steam, but we really never had much to talk about nowadays. And we were in different industries so we couldn't relate on jobs. Or on girlfriends.
Though, the night before I was leaving, that day we went out to the new Raising Cains that was put up, that was some fucking gooood chicken. And then we went to see the new Jumanji 2: The Next Level, that was a good movie. I still think it was a missed opportunity to have it be like "JUMANJII: The next level" or whatever. Cause the 2 i's. like 2. ii. heahuehu. I thought it was good.
Anyway, we were chilling in his car and his relationship comes up and I'm like "oh boy here we go" mentally. Like, a little bit. But man this guy is a glutton for punishment. He could up and leave and never return to be with this lady who is treating him like shit and drinking like 5 24 packs of beer a week. All she does is drink. And just... so much other stuff. And I'm like, dude, motherfuckin leave her, she's so bad for you it's stupid.
But I understand what he wants, because it's the same thing I wanted once upon a time when I was a kid. To have a "nuclear family", i.e. a dad, a mom, a son, a daughter. I wanted my life to be like frieakin' Leave It To Beaver (I think that was the name of the show?). And I mentioned that to him and he was like, yes that's what I want. But... in today's society you're never going to get that. Women have absolutely 100% of the power, at least in the USA, and literally this dude has ONE corner of "their" bedroom to himself. His computer desk. The rest of the house is "hers". And she wants him to put his name on the house. Like bruh, it's literally entrapment rn. She's gonna stop paying on the house because she wants to play "stay at home mom", i.e. chug beer all day and do jack shit, while this dude out busting his fuckin' ass tryina pay the damn mortgage and the cars and the bills! He's expressed as much to me as well, which is the only reason why I say that.
Literally all the stereotypical red flags are there. She faked being into his interests, reeled him in, and then just fucking became a fucking fat potato with no reason to live other than to drink beer. Hell, her kids like being at their dads' (yeah, dads', all 3 kids are from diff dads. Where's the child support? Who knows?!) more than they like being at their house. Jake loves the kids though and I can't fault him for that, he talks about them a lot. But like... dude. I'm not saying she used up but she used up. She went around, fuckin popped out 3 kids and now expects a man to "take care of her life and her spawn" while she gets to not work and he gets to bust his ass. She even passed up a managerial position because "it's too much wooooork". LIKE YEAH IT'S A MANAGER POSITION BUT YOU GET THE FUCKIN PAY RAISE WITH IT! They would have been making 20 to 25k a year more if she had taken the job. And I'm sure it's all just "hey get back to work" and paperwork and shit. Again, he expressed all this to me which is why I know the specifics.
Just every stereotypical red flag. Accusing of cheating, wanting to "stop working", etc. I'm too tired rn to think of the rest, but we literally talked for 2 hours about this stuff. I found out she physically laid hands on him too, apparently she shoves him around a lot. Never hits, but shoves around. Man I would not stand for that, personally. But... I'm not him. But I could correlate a lot of experiences to my own experiences with Haley, there were so many parallels it was stupid. I'm glad he got to vent to me about it though, and I know he sees me living my "woman-free life" and is envious af. I dunno.
If he ever breaks up with her and moves out, I told him I'd immediately fly back down there to move in with him. We'd live like fuckin' kings dude. Minimalists through and through, the best kind of living. I'd be making way less than him, but still.
Man this new place has a lotta weird sounds. I'm in the "basement level" and I guess they forgot to install a pillar for the floor above this floor, so the floor constantly sounds like it's creaking. And now there's just a banging noise. Ugh. I'm gonna have fun sleeping tonight, if I even do. I'm just wide awake from that flight man. I played Rebel Inc. on my phone the whole flight cause I was too afraid to get up and get my Switch (huge hassle anyway).
Can't wait to see my dad though! And my grandma I suppose. The rest of the "extended family", nah. Apparently they're all brats. Ugh. UGGGGH. Aunt's still a bitch, I hear.
What to do... MHW I guess. Or something.
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