I had this dream (typing because faster) where haley and a friend were caught in this weird MMORPG thing this scientist was running and I was trying to get them out of it and I got my buddy out of it but I ended up running around looking for haley and I couldnt find her so I was freaking out and looking in every room and store in the building and finally I just went outside the building and haley came out with a bunch of arrows and I was like what the fuck and had to break her out of the "game" per se even though it was real life. She was firing arrows into pieces of paper in the dirt, very expertly I might add but I figured that was a side effect of the game or something.
And slowly but surely I did and she came back to her senses and before that we were outside on some thing and we were spending time together and I asked her to get back into a relationship with me and she said yes and I kissed her and I was so happy, but then she started acting weird like she used to when she played WoW and I just got mad and walked away and came back and she was gone. and I looked at my phone and for some reason I had this app up where I could track her or her "character" and she was with 2 brown dots which were warriors in WoW and I was like what the fuck and freaked out and started running around looking for her because the game said she was right there where I was but she was not.
and then anyway we were in my friend's room and she told me she'd be right back and I tried to keep her there and say no please stay but she said she was going to bring the researcher back who put her into the game and I was like what? and she went off and came back with this lady in a purple sweater and a lab coat and black slacks and she told me her name and that she was a WOMAN not a guy and I mentioned something like "lol that doesn't matter" and she glared at me and I was like "okay okay chill it was a joke lol" and haley took this scanner thing and used it on me and it said I was of cuban descent (lol what) and a bunch of other stuff to make my "video game character" and I just told her I wanted nothing to do with it...
and then I woke up.
I feel very emotionally unstable right now and I have to go to work right now almost and I don't know what to do. I fucking hate these dreams with haley in them... I just want them to go away forever. I haven't had a dream in a while but lately I've been having trouble sleeping (basically going to sleep at a good time (anywhere from midnight to 2:30AM) and waking up in 3 hours no matter what and am unable to get back to sleep and today I had to get some more sleep before my shift of 2-10 today and I just... after that dream I just want to off myself. I can't fucking take it anymore.
Last night I had issues thinking about times we had together and stuff and trying to clear my head and it seems like I always need something to distract me from thinking about us before. Some days are better or worse than others. I have a feeling today is going to be the unholiest day in terms of emotional pain for my mind.
I think I'm probably going to try and go to sleep when I get home today, maybe. I just... I don't know... I gotta get ready to go to work...
I also know what this dream represents, I'll write it when I get back.
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