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Idk what I'm doing. I went home from work early today. Today has just been so fucking bad. I'm not gonna be able to pay rent because stupid Earnin dug me into the fucking ground. I'm considering going and buying a rope cause it's over for me at the end of the month. I'll probably go do it tomorrow.

Over the past week my mental health has just deteriorated to wet shreds of tissue paper and I can't do this stupid shit anymore. I can't fucking do anything right, I'm slacking at work because of it. I'm tired of giving my all and getting nothing in return. Our boss was supposed to bring food for us today (I haven't eaten anything in 3 days) and I had to forward myself money to buy a frozen dinner from Walgreens.

I have no friends to hang out with, no one to talk to, no one cares about me IRL, maybe a couple people do online who wouldn't really notice I'm gone. I'm just fucking dead in the water.

I'm gonna have to go find a sturdy tree or something I guess.

I wish I could just be a pleb and just take no responsibility for my own actions and just "leave everything in god's hands" or some dumbass shit so I just wouldn't have to care about anything in my life at all or some fuckin' jazz. I'm even gonna lose another 61 dollars this paycheck to student loans. I can't even afford 61 dollars man. Fuck.

Edit later: now i have alcogol let eht games beghin