dream
I was with haley in a house and she had a set of friends or something that I knew about. And I just remember hanging out with her there and (it was our house) and then she just got up to get something and didn't come back. For a super long time. And finally I just started shouting around the house, 'HALEY! HALEY!" and she came back in with one of her friends and his mom who was in a wheelchair (dude friend, she had a friend that was a girl as well) and when we were alone I asked where she was and she said at his house. And then the next question I don't remember but the answer was 'yeah so we can ditch her and she can give us some viagra' and she laughs. My eyes get wide and I'm instantly pierced through the chest by a giant spear of sadness. I push her into the bathroom behind us (man my brain makes some fucking nice places to live I tell you hwat) and asked how could she cheat on me and not care about me? She just replied with, 'kind of hard not to cheat' and she laughed.
Instantly I was almost ripped out of my dream right then, like my brain's safety mechanism to make sure I was protected from this again. But I fought to stay in the dream. I got myself to say, 'how... could... you... do... this...' with large pauses inbetween each word that made me feel like I was a guy with a speech impediment trying to talk in a formal setting or something.
And then POP, dream bubble was gone and I woke up wanting to cry. But I didn't.
And I sat at my desk and began writing this and teared up a little bit but quickly smashed that shit to the ground. Curb stomped that motherfucker faster than Kratos curb stomping an enemy in God of War. (fantastic game, btw)
No girl is worth crying over. No man is worth crying over, reversely. If you can't get your shit together, it's your own damn fault, not anybody else's. Don't support exes, Don't think you're going to get back with them, because you never. EVER. will. They have already moved on even if you're still pining for them. (in the same damn house even, I supported that fucker for a year and got jack shit out of it. NO FREE RIDES. NOT ANYMORE. FOR ANYONE.)
Fuck relationships and be your own person, for yourself, by yourself.
----notes for dream---
she was wearing short short blue jeans and a yellow shirt with some graphic on it.
yeah so we can ditch her and she can give us some viagra lol
kind of hard not to
-----
No comments:
Post a Comment