Post 11

Almost 2 days after Haley left

1/18/17

11:56PM

Today I was staring at some Jack Links Beef & Cheese sticks and I wanted to buy some for Haley. Then I remembered she is gone. It... actually made me sad. Like I almost shed a tear at work in the store. I didn't want to break down at work so I tried to stop thinking about it.

I mentioned it to Lisa and she said, well, she told me a small story about her dad husband Danny. Basically the day before he died he was playing on his PS3 and was eating a bag of salt & vinegar potato chips, and the next day he died. She said she didn't move that bag of potato chips for SIX months. I mean I can understand why, I mean if Haley had died I would leave everything untouched exactly as the day she died.

Honestly I regret making this desk thing and I regret using her chair cause only she could use it and I regret cleaning her desk off, I should have just left it. Man I should have just left everything where it was when she left dammit. Fuck, man.

But... I didn't and it's for the best. She's not coming back anytime soon and I'm not having anybody move in anytime soon. Gods, I wish I had never broken up with her. Goddamn it. She was the perfect woman for me and now she's my oneitis and I'm just going to be an orbiter forever. Fuck. Well, I only have myself to blame.

Well, I'm off to bed soon. Hope I don't have an acid reflux attack like last night, ugh that sucked so much.